The Bromance of German Boys
by AshCollector
Summary: "To him, sleeping past seven was only allowable on days you were too sick to walk. He had limits though. One of them was there was no way in hell he was getting up before four am, something his ten year old brother obviously didn't understand." Ludwig hears a noise downstairs and decides that it was Gilbert's responsibility to make sure they aren't going to be murdered in bed.


_Occasionally Gilbert doesn't suck too badly at the role of an elder brother._

…

Gilbert had no qualms against waking up early in the morning. In fact, he quite enjoyed it. The sunrises always painted a bright picture across the horizon, bathing the sky in a mixture of pinks and oranges. The air was always fresher, the scent of trees and dew effortless drove the sleep out of his lungs as he hurried to finish his morning chores. By the far the best time of the year was spent at his grandfather's farm in the summer. Even if the work was exhausting, he was more often than not eaten alive by ten different breeds of mosquitoes, and he had to wear a bucket of sunscreen and a stupid hat to make sure his skin didn't burn off, he still loved it here. Maybe to a normal fourteen year old boy working all summer and getting up before the sun came out may seem like hell on Earth, but to Gil it was perfect.

To him, sleeping past seven was only allowable on days you were too sick to walk. He had limits though. One of them was there was no way in hell he was getting up before four am, something his ten year old brother obviously didn't understand. His shoulder was tugged on, his named harshly whispered as he was urged to awaken by a very annoying Ludwig. Without hesitation he thought nothing of it to shoved his younger sibling off of the bed and on to the cold hard floor. Christ, was it suppose to get this cold in summer? Wasn't it about a hundred last week? The kid was stubborn though and soon he climbed back into bed with him.

"Gilbert! Wake up Gilbert," he snarled into his ear. Well at least tried to. Puberty still a few years away and his face has yet to lose its childish roundness, his voice still sounding young and innocent. Fuck his bro was adorable. Now if he could just wait a few more hours so he could sleep, then he could properly appreciate his cuteness. Even if he sounded too sweet to ever harm him, Gilbert knew from personal experience that when Ludwig threatened to tell their Grandfather of a few, er, certain improper things he partook in, he fucking meant serious business. Having enough he sat up in bed to give his smaller brother a withering glare.

"Christ kid, what do you need? Want me to check your bed for monsters? You wet the bed again?" Ludwig made a disgusted noise at the suggestions, apparently not liking being treated like the child he was. He really did act too adult like for his age. He sighed, running his fingers through the tangled mess of white hair on top of his head as he patiently waited for him to explain why it was necessary to wake him at two am. "What's wrong?"

"I heard a noise downstairs. I think someone broke in." Gilbert scowled at this, who'd want anything from this crappy old house anyways? Did people get robbed in the country? Wasn't everyone here suppose to be jolly and neighborly and condoning incestuous relationships? He weighed his options. Go downstairs and possibly be murdered for interrupting the nice robber, or stay up here and possibly be murdered in his sleep.

"Yeah, that's fantastic. Tell him I said hi." To him the choice was pretty fucking obvious.

"There is a burglar in our house and he is going to rape us in our sleep," Ludwig insisted, so sure of himself. Where did he even learn what rape was? Internet? Probably, not his problem.

"Tell Gramps to take care of him! He's a scary German, I'm sure he can threaten to gas him and turn him into soap."

"Holocaust jokes aren't funny, Gilbert." He just received a laugh in return for his political correctness, something that just further bugged him.

"There is a burglar in our house. Have fun being sodomized." With an over exaggerated sigh he stood, realizing that his baby bro wasn't going to let this go anytime soon. It really was too cold for sleeping in only boxers, stupid pmsing weather. He scooped his brother up in his arms, deciding that if he had to go be murdered by a burglar, the little annoyance was coming too.

"Getting heavy, kid. Maybe you should diet," He commented. Ludwig brought his fist down onto his bare chest in protest as he was carried out of the dark room and into the dimly lit hallway of their home.

"Maybe you should exercise more. The doctor says I'm the perfect weight and height for my age," he whispered towards him. Gilbert snickered as the made their way downstairs, conversation drifting into silence, Yeah he could hear the noises too. There was definitely someone in their house, and Grandpa had gone out for the night. He paused at the bottom of the stairs, and listened carefully. From the kitchen came the sound of someone searching through the cabinets, trying to remain quiet and unnoticed.

"Go upstairs," Gilbert whispered into his sibling's ear. "I'll investigate." He couldn't let his little bro get hurt by the robber, and quickly shooed him away when he didn't move an inch from where he had sat him down. He grabbed the umbrella stand from near the door, it being heavy and easy to swing made it a nice improvise weapon. Gilbert poked his head into the room, and watched as an unfamiliar man peer into their cupboard. It was too dark to make out any facial features, but he could worry about giving an accurate report to the police later. The German teen swung his makeshift weapon directly at the head of the suspected thief with a small shout, feeling extreme pride when he felt it connect with a dull thud. The thief fell to the floor instantly, a long string of Italian coming out of his mouth. Oh shit. _Oh shit._

The kitchen light clicked on and Gilbert turned around, coming face to face with his grandfather, their shocked expressions mirroring one another. On the ground was his grandfather's friend, Mr. Vargas. _Ohshitohshitohshit_. "Holy fuck, you okay, sir?" Mr. Vargas scowled up at him, clutching his wound with his hand as a trickle of crimson blood trailed down his forehead.

"You hit me." Well no shit, sir. He apologized quickly while watching quietly as his large, blond, and slightly intimidating guardian placed a wet towel against his friend's head.

"That stings," he said with a childish pout. "I told you we should had turned on the kitchen light..."

"I didn't want to wake the boys."

"I'm glad that worked out so well." The two men bickered back and forth, they both seeming to have forgotten his existence. They really were the shittiest adults. Scowling he told the two he was returning to bed and asked if they could try and sound less like robbers next time. He was ignored.

"I don't think they're burglars, Gilbert." As he made his retreat upstairs his younger brother joined him.

"No fucking shit, kid."

…

_**Author's note:**__ Once again, I'm not responsible for anything I write at one am. Blame lack of sleep. I have several one shot ideas for Gilbert and Ludwig in this universe, and I don't know if want to just throw them under one story for ease, or publish them separately. Oh well, I'll cross that bridge when I get there. As always, critique is welcomed, as is offers of marriage and sex. _


End file.
